Dyl’s back with a little more self examination that could possibly be applied to y’alls life thus making the world more harmonious. Honestly, when Mercury is in retrograde my life always feels like it’s unhinged, but this time around it’s not doing me much harm. I reflect on life regularly I mean what else are you going to do? The topic I’m about to discuss just popped into my head on Sunday. It wasn’t really brought on by extensive self meditation or reflection. It was just there and it’s so simple and yet completely earth shattering.
The topic of the day is….. COMPARISON.
Yes, everyone’s guilty of comparing themselves to others. It’s in our nature. The type of comparison that I’m going to talk about is the debilitating kind. I’m not just talking about comparing some girls platform sandals to your ole wonky shoes. I’m talking about the kind of UNNECESSARY comparisons that hold you back from achieving success without even knowing it.
So the other day I’m lounging around looking at people who are ‘famous’ for little sketches they post online. I’m sitting there being completely self deprecating and wishing that I could be an artist too… then I realized.. I was. I scrounged up all my old charcoals and just started drawing distorted faces and I liked how they turned out. They made me feel something. I created art thus making me an artist.
(Not saying that any ole smuck could be an artist. I have a background of drawing and as a kid people use to refer to me as the artist of my class… but as I grew with age I started putting art on the back burner.)
Then I realized that the figure paintings I did not too long ago were actually really good and shouldn’t just be referred to as a ‘doodle’. They were art!
The only thing keeping me back from calling myself an artist was the fact that I am surrounded by better artist who actually get paid for their artwork. Anytime someone would ask what my hobbies were I’d never say drawing or painting because I didn’t feel like I was good enough. I referred to my art as doodles because they didn’t match up with the incredible pieces of art that I’d see at Artwalk or at least I THOUGHT they didn’t compare. People would compliment my talents and I’d take that compliment away from myself. The comparisons didn’t end there.
I’ve always loved to sing. I’ve always really loved music. Music can touch me in a way that nothing else can. Anytime anyone would call me a singer I would slap that compliment right out of their hand and into a trash can. There’s so many talented musicians and artists around me. I felt as though if I were called a singer it would have been an insult to people who ARE singers, but wait….. I sing and my voice is lovely so aren’t I a singer? One month ago I would have never just typed out that I had a lovely voice. I was too afraid with being compared to the greats, but that’s what was stopping me from being great.
Anytime anyone would ask me if I were a model. I would die. I’d laugh in their face and say “certainly not, I only help out my friends when they want to be creative or need to build their portfolio”. Why would I say that? Because Lafayette is swarming with beautiful girls. I don’t get paid to model. Why would I call myself a model? But why wouldn’t I? I’ve been on many a photo-shoot. I have my own portfolio going. I could very easily take that portfolio and get a little gig here and there, but I stopped myself from doing that because I compared myself to the beautiful women around me.
You see.. I realized that the only thing keeping me from calling myself an artist, singer, model, or even a scholar, was my myself. I was too afraid to say that I was good at something because I knew there was someone out there who was better. I was too afraid to embrace any of my talents so I let them go unacknowledged. I robbed myself of my own talents! Others acknowledged the parts of me that I didn’t think were up to par. They were!! They were exceptional and I refused to see anything exceptional about myself because there’s so many people who excel. Why wouldn’t I let myself be one of them?
It’s funny because it’s so simple. Nothing is preventing me from being in a band or making art or doing anything except for my own refusal to embrace or acknowledge my own talents. Hopefully now I will be able to proudly exclaim that I am up to par with others. I am a talented young woman. Hey, I’m good at things! Just because other people are exceptionally good at things does not mean that I am less. I am good! I have talents!
— If you’re good at something, anything, say that you’re good at it. Tell everyone! It’s such a sin to let talent go to waste because your afraid!